It’s important to recognize that no two people experience life through the same lens – even if they grew up together in the same house. Often our longing to get an apology is so strong, we forget that everyone has their own backstory and that often difficult experiences have caused them to become who they are. All too often, people who hurt others are acting out of their own pain. This is not about finding excuses for anyone else’s behavior. But rather, it’s about painting a more complete picture, so you have clarity and can respond from a non-judgmental place.
Life is in a constant state of unfolding. Keeping in mind that everyone is at a different stage of their own evolution helps put the behavior of those who have hurt you in context. If you’re completely honest, it’s likely you, too, have hurt others in the past, and you might still in the future, even if it is never your intention. As you go through daily life, in all your interactions with the people around you, practice keeping an open mind and inquisitive nature about why they might be saying or doing certain things. You might be surprised about the new things you learn when you don’t immediately jump to conclusions.
