On your journey of self-growth, you may have come across the concept of surrender. It suggests that the answer to feeling less triggered by life is to surrender to it.
Surrender, however, doesn’t come easy. You typically do not surrender yourself to a situation willingly. Instead, it usually comes when you’ve completely exhausted all other means. You’re so beaten up from your habit of incessant judging that your mind shuts down to preserve your sanity. Surrender is a system crash. It means you’re now on life support. There are better ways to change the course of your life.
While surrender might bring some relief from your habit of incessant judging, the resulting state is chaos and loss of direction. It leaves you hanging without a guidance system. You don’t know where to go or what to do once you’ve surrendered. It puts you in a passive state which doesn’t feel very comfortable.
Surrender does nothing to address the root issue that has caused your burnout in the first place, namely your judging habit. Once you recover your mental energy, it’s just a question of time until your judging habit returns. You need some sense of direction in life, some way to move forward. Surrender gives you nothing of that.
If you surrender before you hit rock bottom, you’re on even weaker ground. You’re not exhausted enough to keep your judging habit at bay. As soon as a big enough trigger comes along, you’re right back to judging, in some cases with even more conviction than before.
Surrender is not an effective mindset for dealing with life. It is not a happy moment to look forward to. Don’t judge yourself when it does, but also realize things don’t have to escalate to that point. Your life doesn’t have to collapse for you to find yourself.
You can start being you right now. Every situation is salvageable. All trends can be reversed. Take the first step right now. Notice your judgments, focus on what’s in front of you, and take clear action. It brings immediate relief and puts you on track with being who you are designed to be.
Instead of spiraling downward, start spiraling upward. Be you.
Which way are you spiraling?
