It’s one of the great paradoxes of being human, that when you push away feelings you don’t like, it makes them stronger. They stick around and fester and grow into something even bigger. You suffer. The people around you suffer. Intuitively you know that pushing away your feelings does not make this situation better. Yet, you do it time and again.
Your judging habit is to deeply engrained, that when you have negative feelings you judge yourself for having them. You push away the negativity to get rid of it, but it only gets stuck in you more. Stuck feelings result in you feeling disoriented, unbalanced and longing for something you can’t quite put your finger on. Eventually, stuck feelings lead to mental and physical illness.
The feelings you struggle with letting yourself feel the most are fears. You believe that if you allow yourself to feel your fears, they become real and permanent. That by pushing them away you prevent them from becoming full-blown. But the opposite is the case. By pushing them away, they grow bigger and more threatening. When you let yourself feel your fears, however, the feelings become unstuck and leave you.
At first, it’s not easy. Facing that which you’ve been avoiding can be a scary proposition. Letting yourself feel fears goes against your judgment. That means you really have to sit with your fears, to get them to start moving again. The more you have previously pushed them away, the more stuck they are. With persistence, however, you can get your greatest fears to become unstuck and pass through you.
Feelings that pass through you turn into personal growth. A space opens up inside you, knowing that this particular fear can never exert power over you again. You become stronger and more resilient in life. Growth tends to happen more from letting uncomfortable feelings to pass through you, than from comfortable ones. It’s harder to keep your attention on things you don’t like, than for things you do. It’s just the way humans are designed.
For exceptional trauma, many new forms of therapy are available that go beyond traditional talk therapy and medication. Ask around. Do your homework. Just know that your realized self is whole, unblemished and untouchable. With the proper help and support network, you can learn to dissolve even your toughest blocked emotions so that you can be with reality again.
Whatever feelings come up, letting yourself feel them doesn’t mean you have to accept them. You can feel something, and still, take action to resolve the cause. Letting yourself feel your feelings does not mean being passive. It does not mean you cannot do anything to prevent it from happening again. You should take action if action calls you to it. But before you take action, it’s vitally important that you let yourself feel the feeling. The more you feel your feelings, the clearer your action gets.
What feelings have you not been letting yourself feel lately?
